Working on just myself is never enough to keep me centered, and happy with the rest of the world. Sure, it has to start from there but, when we are relating to people on a daily basis, we might need to understand that not everybody is on a path of emotional growth. And, not everybody is interested in whatever steps we are taking to grow spiritually or improve ourselves. That’s just what I’ve seen over the last few years. Everybody is on a different journey, and eventually we all get to a point where we are ready to learn.
More on the subject of dealing with others, I have to address one of the most important issues of our times: BOUNDARIES. We’ve heard the word go around, we’ve heard psychologists and Dr. Phil go on about them and how we are supposed to use them on our every day lives. However, the biggest A-HA! moment I had when I learned this whole lingo (working on onself) I found it to be super interesting that boundaries are set up for my own benefit.
How so? GOOD FENCES MAKE GOOD NEIGHBORS. That’s how so!
My inner peace is not connected to what my fellow neighbors might say or think about me. But rest assured that when I am in my happy place and I get all this emotional garbage from my flaky friend or when I get sucked into a world of drama, that’s when I lose all my centeredness.
I don’t know about you, but as a woman I can sometimes be a tad too sensitive (pause for surprise) and the fences that I can build can come out as a crooked as a can be. And that, well, just doesn’t have the best results we want it to have and then we become flabbergasted when we see them on the ground again.
Now, here’s what we need to realize first:
1. GOOD FENCES MAKE GOOD NEIGHBORS: I can’t stress this enough.
2. Fences are built to keep ME sane: Boundaries are part of growing up and they are there to protect ourselves, our mental stability and our friendships aligned.
3. Choose your words wisely: Boundaries are not isolators. NO MAN IS AN ISLAND. We need to connect and relate to others in a kinder and empathic way, so using the format: “when you do …. What I think about that is….. And I feel …. ” Always helps.
4. Be kind to yourself. “Saying no honors yourself first, which in turn honors others”. – LW
Setting up boundaries is an act of self love and it opens us up to love our neighbor in a kinder way. So, build a healthier you everyday with love, gratitude and boundaries. Feed off on love!